I’m not sure what I ought to post here. I don’t want to explain too much of what is going on (it’ll merely bore you to tears), but I am now officially offline. Please don’t stuff my e-mail full of messages – I can’t read whatever missives land there at the moment.
There was a moment where I considered using this post to do a whole lot of kicking against the things that went wrong; to lash out one final, furious salvo while I have the energy. Turns out, in a masterclass of irony, that I don’t have the energy to be angry, and I really can’t face the negativity that such a post would contain. I’m fed up. No – more than that, I am fed up and immensely frustrated, exhausted by the endless could-have-been thoughts, and ready to have a little peace and quiet. Nothing is going right, and it seems pointless to fight against things that are taking their own sweet time.
Crap. I had more to say. My mind is completely blank, and nothing seems to be jumping out as requiring an immediate surplus of profound statements.
Ah – the rise of mediocrity. I knew there was something important. See, with being offline I have the opportunity to speak to the creeping front of middle-of-the-road. It has already swarmed across No Man’s Land, and is fighting on all fronts across the UK. Nothing is safe, and nobody is immune from the lowest common denominator propaganda. Images are being broadcast into every home through the televisions you watch; newspapers, magazines and comics are fighting a losing battle against mediocrity, and film has already fallen in battle. This is it, people. The end is nigh.
The weapons are at your disposal, and I urge you to use them. Bring your A-game, and aim high. Push back the beige masses.
I’m wasting my time, aren’t I? You are going to continue watching insipid game shows, lapping up the canned laughter and enjoying the perma-tanned entities who pretend to have charisma. You are still going to buy the music created by committee, and read words which have no soul. Fuck it. I tried my best.
I’ll be back when I have more energy, and when thinking doesn’t hurt. The stomach ulcer – which has been quiet for a goodly time – has come back with a fury, and my leg hurts. I can’t be clever and engaging when I am constantly thinking about how the hell I can see myself through the night to the next day. It is well past time that I got things sorted out, and first among the things requiring attention is somewhere to live which doesn’t bring as many problems as it does solutions.
As always, I expect the readers of this blog to buck against the trend of “whatever is good enough” and be awesome. This is your mission. Keep being brilliant in my absence.
I will return.