The Graveyard

The Lair Of Gary James

Posts Tagged ‘tom cruise’

Scientology Is A Fraud

Posted by BigWords on October 27, 2009

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You might have been paying attention to the news. Maybe not. There is a lot of shit being passed off as news these days, so finding things of importance can be rather tiring, and separating the idiocy from the actual news is more skill than luck. I’m very pleased to report that a piece of actual news – real, important NEWS – has been slipped out between the stories of skateboarding dogs and pictures of celebrities who have experienced ‘wardrobe malfunctions. Yes, it’s some actual world-affirming news… Yay.

Scientology is a fraud.

Bwah-hah-hah-ha-ha!

News sources are not great places to find news, but it turns out cheese-eating surrender-monkeys the French courts have laid down the decree with due seriousness (something L. Ron Hubbard’s books lack). Alain Rosenberg, the head of the French arm of the cult religion has pooh-poohed the decision and the fine. It’s kinda irrelevant to their operations elsewhere, but it is a sign that not everyone has been brainwashed by their insane blithering about aliens and other nonsense. Is it too early get the party poppers out? Maybe.

It amused me no end to discover that the “church” has a Celebrity Centre. What the fuck? Is that where they teach people how to be shallow, egocentric and abusive towards minions? Damn, I guess that explains a lot about the state of modern celebrities.

Tommy Davis, spokesman for the Church of Scientology International, told BBC News that the court had acted “in total violation of the European Convention on Human Rights and French constitutional guarantees on freedom”. Yeah, that would be the very same European Convention on Human Rights which has been abused by rapists, murderers and pedophiles to get their convictions quashed. You’re in great company guys.

There wasn’t any reference to Tom Cruise’s sexuality in the article, but I suppose someone might have stressed (just to make sure the “truth” was printed) that he ain’t a raving queen. Fine. <SARCASM>Tom Cruise is 100% straight. </SARCASM> Of course, it would be incredibly childish for me to post that picture of John Travolta snogging a man, for no better reason than I can, so…

Scientology Is Gay

*cough* Yeah, so there’s that, and it brings up an interesting question… Do you have to be gay to be a Scientologist, or is it merely coincidence that two of the big names in the cult religion swing that way?

</GLOAT>

Posted in Over The Line | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Real Life Still Isn’t Represented In Media

Posted by BigWords on October 26, 2009

People are so varied that sometimes, just when you least expect it, an individual will emerge from an unlikely and obscure place and their story will take on a life of its’ own. There are the bona-fide experts on subjects who make ridiculous statements with all the seriousness they can muster, and some – Edward De Bono – are even taken seriously by people who should know better. There are the bored code-monkeys who discovered how to make money from thin air, kids who fool the world with balloon-related pranks, and actors jumping up and down on Oprah’s sofa.

Great way to prove you ain’t gay, Tom…

Oh the joys of seeing the things that go on. If I tried to write a novel which encompassed the absurdities of life, and kept strictly to things which have actually occurred, it would be laughed out of town as unbelievable. Life is complicated, and sexy, and hilarious, and ridiculous, and disgusting, and horrifying… Simplifications of what our existence amounts to in fiction makes reality even more ridiculous when viewed through sober eyes and a clear mind.

It’s hard to put down on paper (or type, as I do) fiction that contains just enough absurdity to reflect reality, but doesn’t fall into unbelievability. I still haven’t worked out if I should try to explain why people are so wrong when they claim that some fiction is like life ripped from reality and pasted on the page. Does it matter that such a feat is impossible? The ailments, observations, minutia, boring bits, slapstick and bowel movements of the average person (though such an individual arguably does not exist) cannot be captured on paper without some degree of editing.

“Literary” still has some growing up to do before I take it seriously.

Any ‘reality’ is a skewed one when put on paper. The digital superhighway – such a stupid term, but a useful way of comparing the internet to a neverending traffic jam – is filled with supposedly ‘real’ moments in private lives. I’ve got no time for moronic “Lookit me, I’m setting my head on fire” videos, and even less time for ten-minute-long videos of people bemoaning their pathetic existence. It isn’t real, because the artifice of display gets in-between the truth and the viewer. Big Brother, whilst listed as a ‘reality show’ is merely the end result of focus groups and sadistic producers. No reality involved.

I’ve been reading a lot of blogs and websites this past week which seem inclined to accept stories in newspapers at face value. The habit certain individuals have gotten into, of merely saying whatever in the news interests them, is a bad one. I’m tempted to start linking to these blogs and taking apart the news they hold dear, but I really don’t want to re-read their take on the news. Which is, as any intelligent person can see from the cover of a newspaper, nearly always skewed and distorted by reporters and editors.

One of the funniest things about British news is the insistence that half-naked women are of urgent importance and news worthiness. No. Sorry, but I’m not impressed. It’s trifling and irrelevant scum journalism which borders on the stalker-ish. Two-page spreads on forthcoming television shows? Hackery of the worst kind. Giveaways? That’s a sure way to increase readership, especially when a national tabloid decides that cartoon DVDs will boost readership. Can I say “The Sun / Daily Star / Daily Record was grooming children” without a lawsuit? Fuck yeah. Try and stop me.

Only when all barriers between subject and audience has been removed will reality be represented in anything other than a superficial and meaningless way, and we ought to start taking what we see, hear and read with a pinch of salt. It is especially important that people come to realize that Hollywood – that legendary vile den of iniquity – shoulders a fair proportion of the blame for ills which are now, sadly, all too common. Anorexia? Thank the airbrushed posters of skeletal good-for-nothings celebrities.

The rise in breast implants? Posters of Keira Knightley with massive tits ain’t fooling anyone. I’m shocked that people believe the ‘perfect people’ are free of cellulite, blemishes and zits; elevated individuals who have never experienced the delights of either diarrhea nor broken noses… It’s dangerous portrayals of ‘the body beautiful’ which infect minds and begin the slow descent into self-awareness in teenagers. And younger. Can’t we, as a species, accept that we’re fed so much bullshit from the media?

Yeesh, that’s a rant and a half… I’m stopping before I upset anyone else. If I’ve missed any targets, please let me know who to lay into next.

Posted in Misc., Over The Line, writing | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Irreverence Is An Art Form

Posted by BigWords on October 24, 2009

asterix

Is anything off-limits these days? I have a hard time accepting anything as absolutely beyond the limits of piss-taking, but I’ve been thinking about this again and come to the conclusion that there are still things I won’t joke about. Making light of the holocaust is one thing I don’t feel free to do, and any jokes about the twin towers is distasteful at best… But religion is hilarious as it is – there is nothing funnier than what you’re likely to find in a religious text.

Comics are fair game (see image above), as are films. I can’t take most blockbusters seriously, never mind crap like Independence Day or the Transformers films. Humor is subjective, and what I find funny probably comes off as offensive to others. The best example of a completely inoffensive film being lambasted by ignorant and small minds as ‘terrible’ has to be The Life Of Brian. Which brings us back to religion again. Oh joy…

Most of the truly offensive things in this world aren’t irreverent, however, yet they ought to be treated with due irreverence. The tapes which routinely emerge from the Middle East proclaiming such-and-such terrorist act is a blessing or whatthefuckever, as a nice example, should be treated with irreverence. We should laugh and mock. Same with absurdities from closer to home: L. Ron Hubbard? His books are fucking hilarious.

Dammit, I wasn’t gonna pick on religion… Lets look at other areas.

Should sports be made a mockery of? Well, when I use sports I mean should sports be made a mockery of – more than they already are a mockery? Have you seen a soccer match? Hilarity. And when I’m on the subject of sports I should bring up the ridiculous alleged sport of table tennis. Who thought that this was a sport? Was there a discussion on this before it was submitted as a sport? Excuse me while I mock.

And books shouldn’t be excluded either, especially revered texts. I like MAD, Cracked and other magazines which do their best to prick the ego’s of self-important individuals. There can be no higher praise than having the piss taken of yourself in a satire, and people who find themselves lampooned in South Park should feel that they have contributed to society is some small way. And, FYI, Tom Cruise ain’t gay… He has a beard wife now and everything.

Irreverence is vital to a clear view of ourselves, and we should never forget that we are all the butt of someone else’s jokes. I just happen to be the cause of more unintentional hilarity than most…

Posted in comics, Over The Line | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »