The Graveyard

The Lair Of Gary James

Corrections

Posted by BigWords on March 3, 2011

“While the Deparment of Corrections are correcting the corrections from the last round of corrections, on the corrected corrections rather than the previously corrected corrections, it is becoming clear that correcting the misconceptions about the corrections carried out by the Department of Corrections is rather tellingly required.” Bob paused for breath, mentally noting the chain of words (and thought) necessary to get his point across, “In addition to correcting the misconceptions regarding the Department of Corrections, a correction about the Department of Biographies should be included in the departmental notifications, notifying everyone of the correct manner in which to correct inaccuracies in biographies. Such inaccuracies in biographies should be corrected for the Department of Biographies, and correct corrections passed on to the Department of Corrections to add to the history of Biographies for the Department of Histories.”
Straightening his tie, Bob was acutely aware that assembled heads of department were in attendance, “In addition, the corrected corrected corrections forwarded to the Department of Corrections will be notarized by the heads of both the Department of Corrections and the Department of History, for the benefit of the Department of Notarization. I note that the Department of Notarization has not needed notarized notifications of the corrections in the past, thus a correction of the notarization process in order to notify the Department of Notarization of corrections carried out by the Department of Corrections will be made forthwith.”
“And citations?” A shrill voice echoed through the hall.
“The Department of Citations will be allocated, by the Department of Allocation, a stipend from the Department of Payments to ensure that citations used in corrections of biographies at the Department of Corrections for the Department of Biographies, will – once copies have been made available to the Department of Notarization – be forwarded to the Department of Citations.” Bob smiled at his deft handling of the situation, “I do hope that clears up any misunderstandings regarding the corrected corrections being handled by the Department of Corrections. I wouldn’t want there to be any problems for the Department of Clarifications to become involved in. Now that the correct manner in which the corrected corrections being dealt with by the Department of Corrections has been dealt with, it is time to look at some efficiency ideas the Department of Efficiency has for us.”

As I tumble down the rabbit hole, I wonder – Is the wordplay getting out of hand?

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5 Responses to “Corrections”

  1. Anne Skalitza said

    “Is the wordplay getting out of hand?”
    On the one hand, yes. On the other hand, no. But now I’ve run out of hands and can’t type anymore. 🙂

    Seriously, your post reminds me of those wordy four page booklets sent by banks with the monthly charge card statement.

  2. bigwords88 said

    Handily, the twelve-hand horse is helpful enough to handle the comments today, assuring me that the handles people are using have been handed through the Department of Handling before being posted. The hanging question of having too much time on my hands hangs in the air, however, and the handling of this bothersome fact is outwith the twelve-hand horse’s remit today… Hanging any weight on the hanging question is going to have the rather unfortunate effect of leaving people hanging.

    The twelve-hand horse is going to make damn fine glue for the Department of Corrections to use, applying corrected corrections to the original documents for the Department of History to store forevermore.

    I need a drink…

  3. Squeaky said

    *falls over laughing* Bravo, sir! Bravo! *applause* 😀

  4. bigwords88 said

    Thank you.

    This has been a very long week, and my brain seems incapable of doing anything more useful than playing around with sentences so convoluted they might as well be in a foreign language…

  5. Re Gypsy said

    Awesome ;o)

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