The Graveyard

The Lair Of Gary James

Home – At Last

Posted by BigWords on March 22, 2010

I’m back from the hospital. Actually, I’ve been back from the hospital for about an hour and a half, but the strain of trying to think – never mind answer questions while in pain, and without the fallback of painkillers (as they screw up the diagnosis) – has exhausted me. So… This is the first I’ve managed to pull myself together enough to post anything which doesn’t degenerate into incoherent mumbling, non-sequiturs, head-scratching references to things which I may have made up on the spot, and roundabout logic.

The waiting was the worst part. If you have watched Michael Moore’s Sicko, and noticed how our glorious health service has been lauded in other places around the world, you would be forgiven for thinking that things work brilliantly. My appointment was set for 9am, but I had to hang around (in a non-emergency area, there wasn’t anyone jumping in for major procedures) for a total of six hours. Six hours in which I wasn’t allowed to pop any painkillers, and I couldn’t even walk off the pain, because leaving would mean I might have missed my turn.

The docs – there was at least six people who took turns sticking things in my ear to see what was going on – asked so many questions before doing anything that I may have lost my temper once or twice. I’m hazy on the specifics, but the questions were mostly the standard, run of the mill stuff. Spellcheck. I have to keep using spellcheck because my brain isn’t passing along information to my fingers. I’m sure I wrote another sentence here, but it’s slipped away from me.

Umm… So, I’m officially dehydrated, and I’ve got high blood pressure. Tell me something new. Pfft. I was told to drink more, but they meant water, and I don’t like the taste of water. Red Bull is now verboten, which I kinda guessed I would be told. All of this was skirting around the fact my fucking ear was on fire and nobody seems to want to do anything about it. The pressure which had been building at the side (just to the back) of my ear was due to an infection which had gathered some liquid, or blood, or pus, or somedamnthing. The gunk was drained away, my ear cleaned out, and I got the news I had been expecting. The inside of my ear is all scratched to hell.

I’ve used in-ear headphones for as long as I can remember, mostly because those large ones that cover the entire ear feel clunky and are hard to use whilst doing the 1001 things I need to do. So, yeah… No surprise. The disorientation feelings, the loss of fine balance and the pain of the last couple of weeks have tought me a lesson – playing music through the speakers is waaay easier than making my ears worse. The nausea as well – I had to stop the taxi halfway home because I thought I was gonna puke, but it was the not-really-but-ya-better-check-anyway nausea. Upchucking in a taxi is fine if you’re eight or nine years old (or very, very drunk), but otherwise… Nope.

I’ve got a stash of painkillers which should last me at least eight weeks (even at my current usage), a bunch of antibiotics, vitamins (which the doc says I have to keep buying for a while), and three lists I should follow unless I want to be back in a hospital anytime soon. The screen feels weird to look at right now, and I’m not sure if the flickering is because of the monitor or my eyes. My cheeks and forehead feel like the skin is pulled so tight, and my forehead has a thin line of owie running across it. I keep imagining there’s something there, like the gold band Monkey wore. Tightening around my head and making the… Um… Somethingsomethingsomething.

My head doesn’t hurt as much as it did yesterday, but I’ve been left with a headache that isn’t shifting. I was going to write more, but trying to concentrate on the my fingers, the keyboard, and the damn flickering monitor is making things worse. I’ll be back online when I work out the right balance between tolerable pain and numb uselessness. Don’t hold your breath.

I smelled strawberries when they were mucking around with my ear. Not sure if it was some weird medication, a pain-induced hallucination, or synaesthesia kicking in, but it was so strong I could have tasted those fuckers. My brain hates me.

Every time I turn my head I feel like I’m going to fall over. This may be interesting.

I’ll conjure up more material from the hard drives and stuff when I can look at the screen without feeling like I’m about to pass out, and I have a drawing I did for my father’s birthday I did last week which I have to scan for my records. Gah, work never ceases…


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