The Graveyard

The Lair Of Gary James

Dead Serious

Posted by BigWords on June 17, 2009

I like computer games almost as much as I like grubby seventies exploitation films, and there is one game which has been getting me harder than Gears Of War. Yeah, it has zombies in it (big surprise there), but it’s third-person…

Luckily I loved the original, and there is every sign that its’ follow-on will be sweet as apple pie. And just as fuckable.


Dead Rising 2 is the game which I’m getting rather sweaty over. I’ll be first in line to pick up the 360 release (go on, say it… I’m a gamerscore whore). If you haven’t played the original, it riffed heavily off Romero’s Dawn Of The Dead but had enough original ideas to stand alone. As an example of the ‘swarming’ tech, of which great things were promised in Starship Troopers, it achieved greatness – albeit with a severed-tongue-in-cheeck. How good were the zombies at finding their way? As long as they don’t get too close to the shitter then the AI is fine. Apparently zombies don’t like the smell of fresh turds – funny that, with them decaying and everything, you wouldn’t expect a floater to keep them from charging the stalls.

There’s a whole world waiting for zombies (and psychos) to get medieval on, and it seems we’re gtting a bigger playing field than before. What the increase in map size really means is the Achievements will be a bitch to get. It was hard enough photographing all of the tags in the alloted time, so a bigger explorable area will cause more hunting, more cursing at the screen and more broken controllers… Ah, the joy.

The original game was amazing, though riddled with annoying glitches. The time constraints, teeny, tiny writing and bastard-difficulty of the unlockable segments should have been noted by Capcom (who have already said the text will be SD readable). Dead Rising 2 is taking precedence in my fantasies, having ousted fervid dreams Summer Glau. That’s mighty impressive for a game I have yet to play. The last time I was this excited was when I saw the first ten minutes of the Dawn remake. We all know how the rest of that film turned out, so here’s hoping DR2 does a better job of sustaining the suspense.


I got around to thinking about other films which could do with the game treatment. As Ghostbusters‘ release schedule in the UK is busy being fucked up by ‘exclusivity’ deals, we really should be demanding that someone get off their ass and make a Buckaroo Banzai game. Or Back To The Future. If someone had the balls to sign the cheque, the entirity of eighties film could be served up and I would be playing regardless of cost. Just imagine it… The Breakfast Club as an FPS…

Hands up everyone, who wants to shoot Judd Nelson in the face?


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